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Have you ever seen the movie Pay It Forward? Well, if you haven’t, and you were too lazy to click the link that I have provided for you, the story line is as follows. Boy tries to help people, people respond positively, boy gets shanked in a parking lot. Basically, a twelve year old boy is given an assignment in his Social Studies class to, simply put, change the world. Well, this kid comes up with this brilliant idea to do exactly that. He proposes that he starts off by doing good deeds for three people, and those three people ...

I watched the original Batman movie from 1989 last night. I couldn’t help but notice that the old Batman is to the new Batman as Chuck Norris is to a six year old girl. In regards to the things that Christian Bale’s Batman accomplished, Michael Keaton’s Batman accomplished with less technology, and more style! Any six year old girl could end all crime as we know it in just a few hours if she were equipped with a balanced breakfast, moderate training in some sort of hand to hand combat, and one more thing…oh yeah, the Tumbler! However, doing this ...

Someone mentioned to me that The Pope canceled Purgatory. I had a hard time believing this if only because Purgatory is one of the most lucrative aspects of the business that is Catholicism. So, I did some research and as it turns out, I was right. They are making far too much money off of people buying their way into heaven to just cancel it. However, back in January ’06, they did cancel something called “Limbo”. Basically Limbo is a waiting room for dead babies because as we all know, heaven is severely over crowded and requires a waiting room. ...

My brother has been on a health kick recently. He’s been taking supplements, and reading up on the best workouts and techniques in order gain some weight. Well, he purchased a magazine called “Men’s Workout”. Seems pretty self explanatory right? I mean, you wouldn’t start a magazine called “Dog Lover” and fill it with nothing but sports news. Apparently this “Men’s Workout” magazine didn’t get that memo. It starts off innocent enough, with step by step workouts and health product reviews, but just like my dear old dad always said, “What starts out innocent, with step by step workouts and ...

I bet Audi had a really smug look on their face when they put this sign up. That is until BMW’s marketing campaign took the liberty of publicly sodomizing Audi’s marketing campaign.

As I was walking into the office this morning I noted that our local stray cat was having an early breakfast. Mind you, this cat is only slightly larger than a Chihuahua. Usually this cat finds himself a lizard or something small to chase around and occasionally eat. Well, on this delightful November morning, he found a squirrel, caught it, killed it, and consumed it. Now I know what some of you are thinking, “Is this the cat of Chuck Norris?”, and I’m sure that thought is followed closely by, “Is this cat single?”. Well, let me just say, I ...